Relationship Survival – destination loneliness
When you think of the word survival what picture comes to mind? Mine looks like a lone battle against something that brings me pain, where I am just existing and managing to get by each day and I am certainly far from happiness and peace.
In relationships (and the clue is in the word!), relating through words and body language is our only means of staying connected to our tribe, community and indeed those close to us. We have to be able to relate to belong and feel felt by others.
The problem, particularly in our love relationships, is that many of us in our delicate inner world fear loss of love from our honey so we constantly patrol the boundary around our heart with behaviours that don’t feel good to us or others, when we are upset, in the name of protection.
Imago Relationships International calls our reactive, protective and defensive behaviours our Survival Strategy and between couples it can easily be termed a survival dance as they try to stay safe in the bad times.